How to Recognize, Evaluate
and Change Hidden Beliefs that May Be Keeping You from Where You Want To Be
For the past 16 years, I have been listening to participants in Workshops; not
only the Workshops in which I have been involved, also the ones which I have
attended with Richard Bandler, John Lavalle, John Latourette and others in
Technology and Dan Kennedy, Joe Polish and Jay Abraham in Marketing. The consistent
feedback is the same. The attendees are happy with the information package
presented and they are stuck.
In the 25 years in the direct mail business, selling home study courses and talking
to customers and potential customers who call asking for assistance, the feedback
has been the same.
THE FEEDBACK: The information package I purchased is excellent and
I intellectually understand it, yet I am not producing the results I want.
Something is in the way.
Recently I received a call from a young man. Some time ago he purchased the applied
NLP SS course. He practiced and became very proficient using the material. He found
the perfect girl for him. She was beautiful, had a great career position and made
good money, more than he did. The moved in together and five years they were happy;
so happy she wanted to get married and so did he. As the date got closer, he got
cold feet. He loved her and was very frustrated at his own behavior. They went to
see a marriage counselor.
During the session, the counselor asked if they had any conflicts, arguments, fights,
etc. Each said yes but they were small and mostly about his not wanting to get
married when he said he did.
Now listen to the counselor's reply, "Well it gets a LOT WORSE when you get married."
This triggered a significant reaction from him. They did not get married; they broke
up. Her biological clock was ticking and she wanted to get married.
It may be obvious to you by now that his beliefs about marriage ultimately prevented
him from achieving the very thing he most wanted.
In our conversation, I asked many questions about his environment growing up and
experiences relating to marriage. Bottom Line: He could not relate
any good memories about marriage; none from his parents, none from his experiences
in church, none from school, none that registered with him for marriage.
Now typically what happens is that first significant event relating to marriage was
negative and set a belief, a filter, a bias. A belief that now looks for
reinforcement and discounts any good experiences as being irrelevant or the
exception to the rule, not real.
There's more. Having lost the perfect girl and not recognizing fully the marriage
belief effect, the brain starts rationalizing. He began to believe that he blew it;
that he could never find another and why bother. He began to punish himself for what
he rationalized as his big screw up. Remember, they loved each other and wanted to get
married. She began to believe it was about her... That's another story.
I think we took care of this matter over the phone. I have not heard from him since.
So here is a clue for you. If you have purchased any course from us or anyone else
and are not producing the results you want, then start looking for patterns, patterns
of behavior, patterns of speech, patterns of response you get from people, etc.
Another caller the other day wanted to save his six-year marriage. After talking for
a while, it finally came down to this: a lot of people (including all his wife's
family) thought he was a total A..hole. So I said to him, "So now that you recognize
and accept that you are an A..hole, how are you going to learn not to be one?" He is
going to get back to me on that.
Enough...In my new course, recorded live in London, you get practical tools and tons of
examples from the attendees. Tools you can use the rest of your life, all packed in 12
hours on 6 DVDs.
When you get this course, open it up with a pen and pad handy. There's a lot of writing
as you are given a structured approach to get there.
Remember, if you are not truthful, then you are only deluding yourself. If you truly
want to change, it takes more than intellectually understanding. It takes doing the
exercises to begin the course and daily exercises involving your body and behavior.
PS: People ask about guarantees. We tell them this: What we guarantee is that you WORK. If you return the course, then you know that you DID
Think about the multiple meanings. There are at least three, you think?